His name is Bruce!

My Name is Bruce (2007)

IMDb meta-data is runtime of 1 hour and 24 minutes, rated 6.1 by 24,146 cinematizens.

Genre: Bruce Campbell.

Verdict: for fanboys only.

Campbell!

Thinking it is a joke so he plays along, Bruce is lured into a confrontation with the Chinese god of bean curd! You read that right, bean curd. This is tofu is tough, not merely firm, all right! 

The Raimi family is, as always in this genre, well represented. The in-jokes, references to other Campbell films, snipes at SyFy mainstays, caustic representations of the NRA, merciless criticism of screenwriters, and self-deprecating humour come thick and fast in this slasher-fest.

The boys from Detroit are at it again!

The Man from Another Star

Der Herr vom anderen Stern (1948)

IMDb meta-data is runtime of 1 hour and 33 minutes, rated 6.2 by 68 cinematizens.

Genre: Sy Fy.

Verdict:  Too little, too late.  

A man from another star travels the galaxy by concentrating his mind; as he passes Earth he loses focus and lands in a phone booth, well, in front of one, where he takes the form of a nearby shop window dummy, just as two Keystone Kops pass.  Having appeared from nowhere, he gets their attention. Worse, Alien has no papers and seems amused at being asked to identify himself, but he is only to glad to confess that he is a man from another star. 

Ach! What is a plod to do with an alien but take him to someone in higher authority.  There follows an interview with police chief who is left in a daze for this alien can create objects by thought alone, like a cigar or an ashtray.  Since he has no papers, the solution is to get him some, so chief has him escorted to the registry office, where he again performs his magic. He now has papers, but by this time the not so secret police are onto him and dog his steps.  

In and out of lines of petitioners at the police station and registry office, he meets Flora whom he quite likes and takes up with somehow mollifying her boyfriend with his concentrated thought.  Or maybe he is her brother and my ears blinked.  

Alien looks longingly at the stars but cannot summon the concentration required to travel, weakened by his attachment to Flora. He decides to stay and tries to fit in. That does not go well. Without his magic he has nothing to offer, but with it, he is suspect. He laments at man’s inhumanity to this man, himself. Both astronomers and astrologers seek him out for knowledge of stars, which he treats as a joke. Stereotypes descend on him, unscrupulous business men want his help, criminals see fortunes in his powers, politicians hope to use him to gain office, and so on.  

He is wined and dined, and there is the oddest dance sequence ever filmed.  Not even Busby Berkeley could have come up with this strange…. I don’t know what to call it.  It is so ludicrous that it is surprising it did not catch on.  

He rejects all these temptations, and for his trouble is imprisoned as a danger to society, whereupon he delivers a sermon to the fourth wall castigating, it seems, the audience for the crimes of World War II. While incarcerated he is able to concentrate enough to continue his travels.  

The premiss is neat and the magic scenes work well, but the pace is catatonic and the plot wanders around. It seems far longer than it is.

The city of Berlin is a compound of opulence, Weimar decadence, and post war technology with hidden telephones for the secret police on street corners, everyone has enough money to smoke cigarettes, alcohol flows freely, white dinner jackets with sashes are common place. That was certainly not life in 1948 Berlin.  

In outline it reminded me of Der Himmel über Berlin (1987) though not in execution.  Though this same actor was in the 1993 sequel, closing a circle of sorts.

Alien is Heinz Rühmann (1902-1994) who was Joseph Göbbels’s favourite actor and performed in many Nazi-sponsored films which were invariably lighthearted romances to distract viewers from reality, the last released in 1945. Like many other German performers of his age, he entertained troops on the Eastern Front. He was investigated after the war but not sanctioned and returned to the screen in this film, which some see as a mea culpa. Anne Frank (1929-1945) who had his picture on the wall in her hidey-hole did not live to such a ripe old age in the comfort he did.  

I watched it on You Tube in German with the German closed captions turned on to help.  Played nearly as broadly as a silent movie, it is easy to follow.    

Space Patrol Orion

Raumpatrouillet Orion (1966)

Space Patrol Orion

IMDb meta-data is 7 episodes of 1 hour each, rated 8.0 by 20,407 incredibly generous cinematizens.

Genre: Sy Fy; Species: West German

Verdict: Yawn.

All our problems have been solved in this futuristic adventure short-lived serial. There are no nations and no states, only humanity. Resources are infinite and Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations is a museum piece. Space flight is faster than light. Orion 8 has an ostensibly multi-national crew all played by Aryans. Only the names indicate plurality: McLane must be Anglo, Monti is Italian, Shubashi is Asian, Legrelle French, Sigbjörnson Nordic, and Jagellovsk Slavic. It premiered in West Germany in the same week that Star Trek was first shown on television Stateside.

The money went for the sets which are excellent; far better than Star Trek. The direction is lifeless. The broadcast were in Black and White. The scripts clichéd to say the least.

The first episode is ‘Angriff aus dem All’ (‘Attack from Space’) and the tension turns on that old German chestnut – Ein Befehl est ein Befehl. (Immanuel Kant has a lot to answer for.) Our renegade and disobedient captain who knows better than anyone else, reluctantly obeys orders for once, and consequences follow because he was right — sort of — all along. It is all about him. Though there is a crew, they are only there to reflect him. There is no teamwork.

Episode 2. ‘Planet ausser Kurs’ really should be called shoot the messenger rather than ‘Planet off Course.’ As the world is about to end senior management argues about lines of reporting to shift blame down the line in a touch of realism. McKinsey management at its best. Meanwhile, Captain Intrepid once again saves the day single-handed. By the way the recurrent villains are called ‘Frogs.’ Get it?

In every episode Commissar Tedious contradicts the well-jawed Captain, while the ageing crew members act like adolescent schoolies. There is no character development. She starts out an automaton and stays that way. He starts out a jerk and stays that way. Of course they will become a couple. Back at Headquarters the senior staff act like stereotypes

3 ‘Hüter des Gesetzes’ Three laws of robots are mentioned but not Asimov. The robots look like balloon version of mute Daleks when they go on strike. The tech is not to be trusted.

4 ‘Deserteure’ (Desertion) everybody wants to go to AA – 05-0189. There are always a lot of numbers bandied about but this episode tops that chart. Ditto as above.

Daleks?

5 ‘Der Kampf um die Sonne’ The last one to leave turned out the Sun. It has to be rebooted and Orion 8 has just the foot to do it. Despite all the claims in previous episodes, in this one the Captain encounters extraterrestrial HUMANS! Well, that is new and news, but wait, there is more. This world in run by women! He doesn’t believe! He can’t believe it! He won’t believe it! It’s unbelievable! That takes 45 minutes. It turns out through a slip of the scriptwriter’s typewriter that the Captain and the Leaderess know the same literature and so establish a decorous rapport. A good book is truly universal. Since Earth and the planet have never met before this coincidence is occult.

6 ‘Die Raumfalle’ The Space Trap. The script writer comes on board; it doesn’t help.

7 ‘Invasion’ (Guess!). Always the Frogs. This is the most Cold War of the episodes with the enemy within, The Heidelberg 10.

Der Ende! (This became my favourite German phrase at this moment.)

The cardboard characters, the repetitive Commissar, and the snail pace make for uphill viewing… That 8.0 rating must have an external explanation, perhaps the never-seen Frogs like it. (But then that turgid 12-part ABC Sy Fy serial of the same era ‘The Stranger’ (1964) is rated 8.1.) The sets are certainly arresting, and either at the beginning or end of each episode shows the crew relaxing from their arduous duties of standing motionless on the floor marks with dance sequences almost as odd as that in ‘The Man from Another Star’ discussed earlier. See below.

Cutting a rug?

More retrospective specials 18 on TVDb than original programs 7.

The 1950 serial of the same name set in the 30th Century had Commander Corey whizzing around zapping bad guys with the Paralyzer, and then reprogramming them to be nice with the Brainograph. My mother wanted one of those, Now that was entertainment. Check it out on You Tube.

The Enemy Below

The Enemy Below (1957).

IMDb meta-data is runtime of 1 hour and 38 minutes, rated 7.4 by 11,180 cinematizens.

Genre: War; Species: Submarine. 

Verdict: Age has not wearied it.

Two professional warriors square off, and tactical deadlock ensues. 

The same can be said of the movie itself – professional, and evenly balanced.  

It is directed with a sure hand by that song and dance man from Arkansas who managed to get the use of a US Navy ship and crew, and who recruited and funded great cinematography.  Never did CinemaScope look so good, even on a computer screen.  The blue expanse compares with the opening scene of Lawrence of Arabia that came a few years later.

The performances are effortless, and unencumbered with emotional backstories, wrung dry as they are these days, evidently, for a slow-witted audience.  Back stories are there, to be sure, but put to one side. Robert Mitchum, as always, seems born into the part; it fits him like an old glove.    

A sampling of the critics’ reviews linked to the IMDb page reveals more about the critics than the movie.  Their remarks are positive but guarded, as if the writer fears that praising such a simple, well-told tale somehow diminishes one’s status as a discerning critic, ergo many of the compliments are left-handed, needlessly qualified, and vague. 

Strange to say for a war movie but there is little violence until the last act. The teenage-boy pyrotechnics — think Greyhound — favoured by the arrested-development directors of Holly- and Pinewood are absent. Nor is any love interest forced into the story by flashbacks. Instead we have parallel character studies on the blue water as the two protagonists take one another’s measure by feint, manoeuvre, and, hardest of all, by waiting quietly for the other to blink. It does have some great special effects for the era, though not the eye-popping, bone-shaking of Das Boot.  

I came across it quite by chance while You Tube surfing, and remembering it fondly, if vaguely, from the Rivoli Theatre, started to watch the first few minutes…and 97 minutes later it ended.  

Dispel (2019)

Dispel (2019)

IMDb meta-data is 14 minutes, rated 6.8 by 28 cinematizens.

Genre: Sy Fy 

Verdict: Chapeaux!  

A teenager girl is inspired by a televised science fiction program to face the monster upstairs.  Her older brother could only escape that devil by joining the army, but there seems no way out for Teen.  She communes with a regal Gina Torres, from the aforementioned television series and does what has to be done.   

The fiend at the top of the stairs is none other than Bro and Teen’s mother who has been possessed by demon rum. 

Superior to most of the two-hour long dreck from big names. Another winner on DUST via You Tube.   

And All the Stars (2012) 

And All the Stars (2012) by Andrea Hörst

GoodReads meta-data is 204 pages, rated 3.89 by 1223 litizens.  

Genre: Sy Fy.

Verdict: Creative.

Waiting for a City Circle metro train at the underground St James Station beneath Sydney’s Hyde Park, the roof falls in on young Madeleine Cost. Luckier than others on the platforms, she survived the collapse and slowly crawled out from the rubble. Thus begins the realisation that the aliens have landed.

In cities around the world gigantic spires have plunged into the earth of the Earth, one of them into Hyde Park above the station, and from them a dust floats far and wide. Those directly exposed to it die. Survivors’ skin turns blue or green (some with star markings per the title).  The population is culled by two-thirds we later learn.

Maddie shelters from the dust in an absent cousin’s flat on Finger Wharf, frantically trying to contact her parents in the high country near Armidale and, more generally, to find out what has happened, what is happening, what will happen but driven by excruciating hunger she has to scavenge for food. Ravenous hunger is a side effect of whatever causes the skin changes. That quest for food brings her into contact with others and she teams up with some teenagers whose survival rate seems marginally higher than that of adults. 

What follows is one of the most creative science fiction stories I have read.  That may seem an odd thing to say, but much of the science fiction is not creative. It is sacrilege to say it, but Philip K. Dick’s stores are commonplace decorated with space ships or androids.   

Social services and norms quickly erode; a state of nature emerges (see Thomas Hobbes), compounded by the aliens’ presence.  When the dust settles, the aliens seize the minds of some and announce their plans – which make little sense to those who hear. The aliens use the continued broadcasts of news services and the internet to proclaim their message.  Ergo the media is largely left in place, though many journalists were killed by the dust along with others. 

Even during the apocalypse the media remains irresponsible and cannibalistic. In the quest for the last Pulitzer Prize surviving journalists breathlessly report on humanity’s reaction, including scientific and medical efforts to defeat the dust plague, the best hiding places to avoid the dust, and later how to avoid alien patrols that begin to sweep up survivors of the dust, and finally the organisation and leadership of the human resistance to this alien occupation. All of this  information is monitored by the aliens who quickly extinguish the laboratories, destroy the hiding places, and slaughter the resistance groups. Like Comrade Putin, they use Pox News for their own ends, and Pox News revels in its murderous prostitution.   

The dust was just the beginning. Things get worse.

Meanwhile, Maddie and her Blues hide from marauding gangs of Greens, elude aliens who hunt for hidden humans to use in their competition, and manage tensions within their number. One or two want to fight the aliens they know not how. Another wants to compile a database. A third wants Maddie. They all want more food. The group also faces decisions: stay in the apartment, stay together, stay in the city, or move, split up, try to leave?  

Meanwhile, the aliens start some sort of competition among themselves using human surrogates, as though they are mortal chess pieces. It is incomprehensible but deadly. Needless to say Pox News is there to broadcast it.  

The Sanctimonious Broadcasting Service (once known as Your ABC) features much lip-pursing at the Government’s failure to prevent the invasion, defeat it, end it, and compensate survivors for the inconvenience. Some things never change, not even at the apocalypse. 

Among the surviving humans, opportunists take advantage of the situation. TED talks abound without a pause for breath. Entrepreneurs offer snake oil cures for the dust infections. Religious charlatans talk to god. Predators enjoy the mayhem. The NRA sells more guns that are useless, but comforting.  Lawyers propose making the aliens illegal immigrants and debate the wording of such legislation.  Academics have conferences to pronounce on the situation. Politicians promise to convene Royal Commissions. Ideologues ask the gender of the aliens. None of these standard operating procedures matters one whit but it is what they know how to do, so they do it. 

A very secret resistance forms and launches an attack. There is a great deal of action in the last quarter of the book, and it ends more or less literally with a pitch to make a CGI movie from it.  That deflated this reader big time. 

While there are many reviews on Goodreads, as usual, they are largely uninformative, I could not find a single one elsewhere in a 10-minute internet research. Behind paywalls I suppose. 

One can read all sorts of parables into the story.  Are the aliens the British come to terra nullius with their invisible diseases? Then the earthlings are the aboriginals who cannot fathom what is happening, let alone why. Or should we read the spires and dust as a climate crisis.  Or is it COVID. Take your pick, or add another.  The racial antagonism that quickly develops between the Blues and Greens, who blame each other for the calamity has also to be considered. Then there is the girl-meets-boy romance tucked into it, which is quite charming in its own terms, but attenuated.  (I never did get what cousin Tyler had to do with any of it. My attention span is like that.) 

The characters are differentiated and sympathetic. The tension and mystery are palpable. There are some nice passages about painting – Maddie’s chief interest in life before the Spires came.  But the alien mystery is so immersive that it envelops everything and slows it down…. I found the book easy to put down and hard to pick up.  Although there are some well-judged action scenes on the beach or a fight in a parking garage, and at the end, but along the way there is a lot of talk, talk, and more talk.  It requires some patience and persistence in readers, and this one seems to have less and less of those qualities.  

I found the opening in the ruin of St James metro station close to home because I have waited on that dreary platform at night after Parliament House sessions.  Ditto the mention of the Archibald Fountain above, which was one of my first references points in Sydney.  

Army of Darkness

Army of Darkness (1992)

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 1 hour and 21 minutes, rated 7.4 by 176,000 cinematizens.

Genre: Bruce Campbell.

Verdict: CGI.

The ever droll Mr Campbell puts his foot in it and finds himself in 1300 A.D, with endless stream of CGI undead skeletons.  He goes on a quest to find the incantation that will return him to Homewares at K-Mart.  It sounds crazy, because it is, but Campbell is a force of celluloid and he battles on. Yes, he is A Detroit Yankee in King Arthur’s Court with a chainsaw and a 1978 Pontiac DeVille. 

The incantation turns out to be Klaatu barade niko.  (You either get it, or you don’t. No explanations.)

My attention wandered as The Bruce – Hail to the Chin – with teeth chemically whitened and muscles gym buffed battled CGIs, but the wit, energy, and pace kept me in contact with it.  Just barely.  

Bruce has continued his struggles with the CGI dead undead in a gaggle of other similar extravaganzas so that a New York Times reviewer suggested he had become himself a genre.  I liked that, so I used it above. This one of his films shows the many hands of the Raimi family – I counted three – who produced, directed, and played in it. The Bruce genre with the Raimi touch has also sired at least two television series.  

Even more entertaining is a 12.28-minute interview with him on Reddit Ask Me Anything.  Find it on YouTube.

Sheila McLeod, Xanthe and the Robots

Sheila McLeod, Xanthe and the Robots (1977).

GoodReads meta-data is 240 pages rated 3.31 by 16 litizens.

Genre: Sy Fy.

Verdict: Seminar. 

At an isolated but relaxed research institution Philophrenic robots are in development.  Pragmapractor robots are extensively used for simple and repetitive tasks, like telling people to brush their teeth.  (Joke.)  But the Philophrenics have much more complex programming and, perhaps, even emotions.  Xanthe is one of the programers and the story is told from her perspective.  

Xanthe is an only child, an introvert, solitary, obsessive, creative, and likes things that way.  Xeno the director of the institute saddles her with an assistant, despite her objections, and he becomes a source of tension.  While Xanthe swallows the libido-blocking tablets each day, the better to concentrate entirely on her work 18-hours a day, ….  But the reader knows that Daiman, the unwanted assistant, will overcome that chemical barrier.  There is no other reason for him to be there.

The Philophrenics are programmed in the humanities not science or engineering. Thus they know the works of Ibsen, Melville, Brownings, Byron, and prove it by spouting quotations. Each has a programmer whose personality shapes the bot, though it is not supposed to do so. 

Only half-way through the book does the reader learn that beyond the Institute’s walls the world is disintegrating into chaos, although it seems a polite sort of chaos compared to the kind the Republican Party creates these days.  Meanwhile, the Philophrenic robots develop wills of their own and demand autonomy which is conceded.  However no sooner do the Philophrenics take over than the Pragmapractors go on strike. It seems that they do not wish to take orders from other robots.  (At this point I expected Jim Kirk to appear and talk the robots to death in the great Star Trek tradition of low budget endings.)

The Philophrenics we learn in a sotto voce narrative from Xanthe were supposed to be perfected humanity, creatures of reason and knowledge, untainted by the weakness of the flesh.  Like the Pragmapractors, the Philophrenics are sexless, though there are anticipations that the latter may come to demand sex in order to more closely approximate human beings. Remember Mr Data or the Tin Man?  Try as the members of the Institute might, the robots cannot be any more perfect than the humans who program them, and we see early on the personality of programmer is reflected in the robot.  (It seems one programmer works on/with one robot.)

The Philophrenics seems poorly suited for the autonomy they demand since they are totally imbued with literature, and nothing else.  When granted freedom to create their own names they invariably choose the name of a literary character, and when they are also allowed to dress themselves (having theretofore worn coveralls or kaftans) they choose period clothing for the name they have chosen.  Do we detect a lack of imagination here?  (By the way, how such clothing is produced is off stage.) but then why are they clothed at all? 

Aside: the only other time clothing is mentioned it is used to indicate exasperation when Xanthe notes that Xeno’s necktie is at half mast. We are spared the detailed and pointless description of clothing that pads out so much genre fiction. Nor are meals described and decor detailed. Finally, there is no description of the robots, except that they are made in our image.  

All the programmers have code names and that is never explained within my attention span.

Once autonomous, the bots rapidly set about making all too human errors by dividing into hostile groups, going on ego trips, lolling around….  Meanwhile, Daiman and Xanthe become, as long predicted, a couple while the Institute disintegrates around them.  The conflict between the Pragmapractors and Philophrenics turns violent with the humans in between, not quite trusted by either camp, but trusted more than the other camp.  

In the end Daiman and Xanthe leave the shelter of the Institute to brave the misery of real world. That last phrase was not used but it seems right.

About midway there are explicit references to the laws built into bots but Asimov is not named.  

The verdict above, ‘Seminar,’ indicates how wordy the text is.  Every character is articulate and there are pages and pages of talk, or silent narration from Xanthe, and very little movement.  When Xanthe reluctantly takes a holiday earlier, well, that is one of the weakest parts of the text.  

This reader was left perplexed as to what conclusion to draw.  Moreover, the external chaos is never explained, and neither is any role for the robots in that wider world which undermines the whole purpose of the Institute. In that way, we seem to have only part of the story.  While at the Institute there are schedules and work, it never seems connected to the desperate world out there.  It is indeed an Ivory Tower.  The Philophrenics will do nothing to reduce the chaos, though the Pragmapractors might.  

Sheila McLeod

I came across a reference to it somewhere, now forgotten, and being intrigued I found a used paper copy from Abe Books (despite being owned by Amazon, its stock does not appear in Amazon searches) and got it.  It is not available in an e-book. She has many other titles.

The Smiling Ghost

The Smiling Ghost (1941 – 6 September)

IMDb meta-data is runtime 1 hour and 11 minutes, rated 6.4 by 671 cinematizens.

Genre: ODH (Old Dark House).

Verdict:  Shiver and shake.

An impecunious but affable engineer agrees to fake engagement to a beauty (whose previous three fiancés have each met untimely ends).  He needs the money and the eye candy is Alexis Smith. Say no more; the answer is yes! 

He thinks it is some kind of a joke. If it is then it’s on him because the plan is to use him as bait to resolve the jinx, hoax, curse. Little does he know.  Very little. 

A theme familiar from many other silver screens is the contrasting  appeals of a beautiful woman (Miss Smith above) and a feisty one.  While Engineer is intoxicated by Beauty, he realises that he cares about Feisty.  Often in this trope Beauty is a villain but not in this case for she herself is the victim. 

In addition, Willie Best does his best, and at times is treated as a friend rather than a stereotype though the latter prevails. There is also a sixgun toting butler who later captained the Minnow.

Spoiler alert!  There is a man in iron who plays a crucial part. Yes, you read that right. Indeed. 

The ODH has all the spooky  conveniences: Sliding panels, hidden doors, secret passages, cob webs, rubber masks, thunder and lightning, candles blowing out, an empty tomb, trap doors, revolving bookshelves, an apparition of the undead, all in all just like Delt house on Greek Row. Regrettably, it also has lacklustre direction and the wasted talent of Lee Patrick. 

Chester Clute

Earlier a perennial film milquetoast – one Chester Clute – has a moment of glory when he topples the big engineer.  That was a nice touch.  

Engineer Wayne Morris was an amateur flyer who in 1941, soon after the release of this movie, enlisted in the US Navy and flew combat missions in the Pacific with seven kills and five ship hits. When he returned to Hollywood his heart wasn’t in it and his career languished, while he drifted into less demanding television work, though he was superb as the broken man in Paths of Glory (1957) released two years after his death at 45 of a heart attack while attending an air show.  

Bubba Ho-Tep

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

IMDb meta-data is 1 hour and 32 minutes, rated 6.9 by 3,386 cinematizens.

Genre: Bio Pic with a kick.

Verdict: The Mummy returns, again. 

Spoilers follow.

A dyed and brainless JFK does a final service for his rest home with an impotent Elvis at his side. The Lone Ranger puts in an appearance.

Elvis ponders his misspent life, while Jack reads up on the undead.  

…..

The showdown between the geezer team of a bloated, bejewelled Elvis in a white jump suit hobbling behind a Zimmer frame and Jack in a dark blue suit and a red necktie on a wheelchair with Bubba Ho-Tep has to be seen to be disbelieved. But it is time for the these two to do what has to be done; what only they can do. Yes, there will be casualties.  

Droll does not begin to describe this foray into the absurd. Yet it conveys respect for The King even if he is decrepit, a respect which he in turn effortlessly extends to the black JFK down the hall. 

For those who need authority before they can like something, know that doyen Roger Ebert used the following terms in his laudatory review ‘wacky,’ ‘vulgar,’ ‘observant,’ ‘truthful,’ ‘sincere,’ ‘respectful,’ ‘ingratiating,’ ‘harebrained,’ ‘poignant’…..  

After enduring the assault of Elvis (2022) I needed a return to something grounded.