UFOria!

UFOria (1984)

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 1 hour and 34 minutes, rated 6.2 by 498 cinematizens.  

Genre: Sy Fy; Species: Comedy.

DNA: Area 51.  

Verdict: Engaging.

Tagline: Believe!

Combine one part charming drifter with another of cynical revivalist preacher, and season with a bored supermarket check out woman…and the result is… a story about love and redemption. It brought to mind Jean-Paul Sartre’s hymn of commitment. He who had so many and varied commitments. It matters less what you commit to than to commit to something to give your life (external) meaning, weight. Put on gravity boots to compensate for the unbearable lightness of being. Not very discriminating that, but when the polysyllabic verbiage is pared away from Sartre that is what remains. This is the same Sartre who committed to Fidel Castro, Leonid Brezhnev, and other Gulag architects.

Some of the preachers’ followers believe in Jesus, others in UFOs, a few in both, and the drifter declares his god-given right to believe in nothing at all.  The plot might as well have been lifted from Leon Festinger’s sociological study, When Prophecy Fails (1956).  

The players are marvellous – Shirley from Laverne days, Gus Grissom from The Right Stuff, and Harry Dean Stanton from too many to name.  Harry Carey, Jr and Hank Worden also deliver on cue in support.

Where’s Simon?

The Search for Simon (2013)

IMDb meta-data runtime is 1 hour and 37 minutes, rated 4.5  by 145 cinematizens.

Genre: Sy Fy; Species: UFO.

DNA: England.

Verdict: Winning.

Tagline: ‘The Apollo 13 tissues were a bad investment.’

Nerd king is obsessed by the disappearance of his younger brother thirty years ago when they were boys. He is a one-man Search for Simon Foundation.  Living off savings and lottery winnings, Nerd searches for the UFO that abducted his brother. Yes, abducted, what other explanation would there, Erich? 

He pays for information, travels the world to gather UFO data, tries to penetrate secret agencies…all in his inept way, much ridiculed by the pub-aholics with whom he plays Dungeons and Dragons for relaxation. 

Slowly engaging, a little charmer, somewhat serious, and finally ironic.  Compared to the much bigger budget A for Andromeda with the same DNA, this has plot and character and several twists and turns. 

The opening sequence…has little to do with what follows, just enjoy the tank ride. Be patient. 

One amusement after seeing a handmade film like this is reading the condescending reviews on the internet by the trolls who need to denigrate someone to forget why they have never accomplished anything.

La Casa (1976)

La Casa (1976) The House

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 1 hour and 37 minutes, rated 5.2 by someone.

DNA: Spain.

Verdict: [Zzzzzzzz.]

Tagline: Inanity for one and all.  

Six of the shallowest characters ever filmed drink, eat, and copulate. Sounds better than it is. When not otherwise engaged, as above, they play Jeremy Bentham pinball machines.  Such glamour! Such luxury! Only the slot machines were absent from this Leagues Club tavern in the sky.

The millionaire host invited two other couples for a dinner that lasts forever, or so it seemed to this viewer, for his home is a space ship. Something the guests did not notice when they drove up and entered.  Nor did they notice its takeoff into orbit.  His plan is to wait out in orbit the radiation of a nuclear catastrophe. They run out of food but not cigarettes or whiskey or electricity.   

After reading this script, they begin committing suicide. 

It’s so bad only Stephen Seagal could have made it worse.  

Close encounters!

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977).  

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 2 hours and 18 minutes, rated 7.6 by 211,299 cinematizens.

Genre: Sy Fy.

DNA: USA

Verdict: Superb!

Tagline: ‘They were invited!’  

It’s not often a big Hollywood picture features blue-collar leads but this one does and both actors rise to the occasion with compelling performances.  The inclusion of François Truffaut is a warm and welcome tribute to that magician of cinema.  The meshing of the storylines is good and it steers just clear of turning the army into buffoons. Though the use of dust is straight out of Rage (1972).   

I did find some of this version attenuated. Wasn’t sure about that Indian chanting.  Roy’s obsession with gardening went on too long.  The build-up to the final rendezvous is stretched and then the rendezvous is anti-climatic. No idea why it was so important to exclude those invited but to suit up those in red? Still I liked it that things were not over-explained in a Hollywood science way. It is just presented.

Memo: Returning the abductees is nice, but having taken them in the first place ruined not only their lives but those of their family, relatives, and friends.  Who do they sue for compensation?

Compared to Asteroid City (2023) this seems grown up with something to say about the mysterious of the universe that is said well.  

It is old news, I know but I came across it and watched it as a reminder that Hollywood can do more than produce bubble gum for and by prepubescent boys with arrested development. I know there is a re-released edited version which I will get to.

Big in Florida

Phoenix (2014)

Runtime of 12 minutes 33 seconds. Not on IMDb.  

DNA: Deutschland

Genre: SciFi

Tagline: Fear the Books

Verdict: Big in Florida.  

An homage to Fahrenheit 451 (1966) which opens with the incineration of a tweenage reader. That should make it popular in Florida where capital punishment for reading soon will be enacted in the name of small government to go with the mandated gynaecological examinations for women travellers.     

A friends and family production that offers more, much more, than Asteroid City, despite, or perhaps, because of the latter’s multi-million dollar budget and genius director.   

Armed and feminine

War Women (2021) by Martin Limón 

Good Reads meta-data is 214 pages, rated 3.18 by 96 litizens.

Genre: krimi.

DNA: South Korea.

Tagline: Women with guns!  

Verdict: The dynamic duo return. 

Having recently enjoyed a South Korean movie, I remembered this title was in the Kindle reading bank so I turned to it to continue my mental travels in Korea.

Sergeants George Sueño and Ernie Bascom are at it again. Ernie is tall and looks very aryan, while George is even taller and looks very hispanic dark.  They often play on this contrast as bad cop Ernie and worse cop George.  Since they have served in this fictional South Korea well beyond the decade of the 1980s, George has had time to learn a lot of Korean, and treats the natives with consideration and respect.  Ernie accepts his leadership on this front…when he is  sober. Since they are cops, GIs shun them, leaving them to spend most of their time off- and as well on-duty together.  

In this outing one of their prime snitches has gone missing, a Sergeant First Class aiming at the twenty-year pension who manages the classified files, filing system, and archives — the last man to go AWOL. In the past he has passed over useful intel to them for a price. Ergo his absence is more than just an official problem, it jeopardises their own capacity to stay on the good side of the Head Shed wherein sit the brass (sometimes on tacks).  

The plot concerns the rape of women by American soldiers and is even more unpleasant to read in the book than in this line.  Ah, most readers probably supposed the women in the previous sentence to be Korean. Not so, The victims are members of 877th Field Transportation Company, drivers and loaders who cart around boy toys.  Yes, these are women, because the volunteer Army has to take whom it can get, and that riles pea-brains high and low, including brass in that Head Shed in Seoul whose widely repeated off the record remarks about what women are good for have been interpreted by a few sergeants on field manoeuvres as the license to rape.  Everyone knows that in the Eighth Army to lodge a complaint about being raped, or anything else, is more likely to lead to punishment for the reporter than the perpetrator, as in most corporations. After all, there was no problem until the report created it.

Instead the women have turned vigilante on the same assumption, that for the C.O. to report their mutiny would be a stain on his record, one big enough to lose his pension.  Having no North Koreans to shoot at, the Americans, men and women, trade gunfire.  It may sound far fetched but the writer make it credible, nearly.

All of this is aided and abetted by that recurring intrepid journalist, Katie Bird, who puts plenty of cats among the Army pigeons.  She is always a welcome addition to any party with a razor wit and never take no for an answer attitude. She is always two or three steps ahead of Bascom and Sueno and stays there as they follow in her wake.

The to-ing and fro-ing in Seoul is detailed, and in this instance there seems to this reader to be too much of that to disguise the rickety, if distasteful, plot. North Koreans are in the formula as usual.

Martin Limón

The series started in 1992 with Jade Lady Burning and this is #17 recounting law enforcement (sort of) in the Eighth Army during its occupation of South Korea in the 1980s. At the time South Korea was a military dictatorship of an unpleasant type, and still impoverished with the constant threat from the north.

S. J. Parris, Alchemy

S. J. Parris, Alchemy (2023) 

GoodReads Meta-data is 473 pages rated 4.47 by 337 litizens

Genre: Krimi: Species: Period.

Verdict: intense

Tagline: Fear the book!  

It is the winter of 1588 along the River Vltava in Prague as Dr Giordano Bruno arrived, ingenue assistant in tow, sent by Francis Walsingham, English Queen Elizabeth’s spymaster, to make contact with his agent-in-place John Dee.  No sooner did Bruno cross the stone bridge than he was set upon that very dark and dreary night by two Spanish thugs. No Pilsner for him.

Prague was then a polyglot crossroads where the Holy Roman Emperor, having vacated Vienna for a quieter life in rustic Prague, shut himself up in the castle on the hill. This hermit is Rudolph II (1552-1612) whose interests are so otherworldly that he allowed religious freedom within the city.  The result was that Catholics hate him for tolerating Protestants who in turn hated him for tolerating Catholics, and the two only combine to hate Jews, who know a good thing cannot last.  

Rudolph, barely five feet tall in pumps, is fragile but determined. Most of that determination is devoted to his scientific and meta-scientific interest in this, that, and everything from automatons to Harry Potter’s philosopher’s stone. His patronage has attracted to Prague scientist, alchemists, astronomers, occultists, mediums, seers, and charlatans who speak a babel of tongues.  

The Papal nuncio plots his downfall with the ready assistance of the Spanish ambassador, while Protestants undermine Rudolph’s tolerant Catholic chief minister. In between the Jewish community knows that whoever prevails will come after it next and so makes campaign contributions to both parties.    

There are so many wheels within wheels that it takes quick-witted Bruno an interminably long time to sort them out.  The open-faced and friendly librarian is stealing books from the Imperial Library. The honest and steadfast book dealer is corrupt.  The dying old man is a knife murderer from his own deathbed. His pregnant daughter carts away the bodies for later mutilation.  The respect-inspiring patriarch is double-dealing. The girlish countess is a poisoner. The Spanish thugs are, well, thugs. A Spanish Inquisitor on holiday in Prague admits he misses breaking people’s fingers in the name of god. Whew!  What a cast.  What’s worse than all that however is Rudolph’s secret grand plan …[which will remain secret].

Some of this mischief stretches credibility but so be it. The plotting is – see above – complicated but all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle fall into place by the end. That in itself is a wonder.  

By the way, Rudolph paralleled Queen Elizabeth of England in remaining unmarried. He realised that unwed, he was a prize for matrimony. He encouraged many such prospects to keep royals, nobles, aristocrats, and other chancers catering to him and seeking his favour in the hope or marrying a daughter to him. No fool he.  

This is the seventh in a continuing series of Bruno’s adventures before the Florida Inquisition got him.  Years ago I read the first, Heresy (2010) which was set in Oxford at New College (where I once bunked for a conference) a long time ago. I found that the plumbing hadn’t changed since Bruno’s visit.) It was well done but the atmosphere, as in this one, was suffocating and I did not follow Bruno’s trail. In a way that means it was too well done for my feeble tastes.  

We visited Prague not so long ago and we traipsed through Prague Castle, from whence all of his treasures had long since been looted or destroyed by one conquering army or another. The weather was benign during our visit and after I completed my duties at Charles University we wandered about and crossed that very same bridge a number of times.  Then I read Hugh Trevor-Roper’s Princes and Artists (1976) which included but did not concentrate on Rudy, leaving me with the desire to learn more about him. Hence I started this book.

It blew in the wind

6/45 (2022)

IMDb is runtime of 1 hour and 54 minutes, rated 6.9 by 1301 cinematizens. 

Genre: Comedy; Species: musical.

DNA: South Korean.

Verdict: Manse!  

Tagline: Winning isn’t everything.  

It takes nerve to make a comedy with K-Pop musical interludes set in the most heavily armed border in the world, the misnamed Demilitarized Zone, which has more than a million heavily-armed, highly-trained soldiers poised for action along its 250 kilometres length, separated by no more than four kilometres at any one place. The DMZ is itself extensively mined by the armies of both Koreas in disregard of the treaty and though it is forbidden by the terms of the treaty both sides patrol in it…at night and plant those mines. Meanwhile there are eyes in the sky overhead in geostationary low earth orbits and down below the ground are equally forbidden tunnels. There have been many shooting incidents in these environs only a few of which are ever reported. While there were escapes over, under, and through the Berlin Wall, there have never been any such breaches of the DMZ.

A winning lottery ticket brings together a microcosm of those million soldiers in that environment, four North Koreans and three South Koreans. To retrieve the ticket wind-born into the north, the ROKs (that is, Republic of Korea soldiers) plan a military operation: analyse the enemy, probe, assess, decide on tactics, prepare, train, equip for stealth, and engage.  But the KPAGFs (figure it out) have home court advantage.  

Twists, turns, irony, and so it goes.  Beneath the armies’ discipline, the suffocating propaganda, and cultural alienation of generations, they are all the same.  

It’s longer than my usual watch-time but it whizzed along with plenty of laughs, offering insight into the Koreas where I spent a few months once upon a time at Korea University. I made two visits to the DMZ, set foot in North Korea, and walked through one of those tunnels. The title above refers to the lottery ticket draw.

It echoes, deliberately it would seem, JSA (2000), a deadly serious study of the differences between the Koreas and the Koreans in the DMZ. Like this movie, JSA is entirely Korean, ignoring the elephantine US Eighth Army of occupation.

Meteor Town

Asteroid City (2023)

IMDb meta-data is runtime 1 hour and 45 long minutes, rated 6.7 by 58,765 cinematizens. (A long minute has 75 seconds.)

Genre: unidentified; Species: ennuni.

DNA: Hollywood. 

Verdict: Meh.

Tagline: Are we there yet?

We watch a science fair in desert south west where the aliens roam.  All the parents are bored and the students would rather do science than stand around.  The result is a series of pastel tableaux with little or no connective tissue.  If you have seen The Grand Hotel Budapest (2014), you have seen this.  

By the secret Protocols of the Elders of Hollywood, Tom Hanks makes a gratuitous appearance.  The alien come to retrieve a missing sock (just kidding) is in and out in less than 30-seconds.  

By the way, should it be called Meteor City, as per the web page of the International Astronomical Association?  

Lacking the subtlety and human interest of a Three Stooges skit I chose not to sit through it to the end.  

The opening credits make clear it is a one-man band, no second opinion, no alternatives were considered.  Such is genius.

Simulacra

Simulacra (2018)

IMDb meta-data is 13 minutes runtime, rated – by -.

Genre: Sy Fy.

DNA: Israel.

Verdict: Compelling.

Tagline: Gone is gone.

A scientist tries to recreate her dead daughter in a cyborg with mixed results, assisted reluctantly by another, surviving daughter.  It is a slow process, and then it goes awry.  

It is a short story of love-loss-love-and-loss…again. Not rated on the IMDb by any of the usual trolls. I came across it on You Tube (but not on Dust).