The Incomparable Babe!

The Tomb that Ruth Built (2014) by Troy Soos

Good Reads meta-data is 238 pages, rated 4.26 by 127 litizens. 

Genre: Fiction; Species; Krimi.

DNA: De Bronx.

Verdict: Safe!

Tagline: A drag bunt! 

A year that has lived in infamy: 1920, when the Boston Red Sox committed original sin, selling George Herman Ruth’s baseball contract to the New York Yankees. Ruth’s sportsmanship and showmanship gave the Yanks three years of untold prosperity.  Bankrolled by Ruth’s draw of fans to games and long desirous of their own turf the Yankees built Yankee Stadium in two years. (That is less time than it takes to get a pot hole filled in a local street in most places.)

At the dawn of 1923 the NYYs were bound for another pennant and now had THE stadium.  It was not a ‘field’ (Ebbets), ‘grounds’ (Polo), ‘park’ (Shibe), ‘bowl’ (Baker), no it was a ‘stadium’ of Roman grandeur.  (Though built to last its final at bat was in 2008.

Into this shiny new temple of baseball stepped a Yankee team based on THE BABE, who lives up to expectations on the field and down to them off the field.  Somewhere along the dugout bench is Utility infielder whose curiosity is surpassed only by his carnal love for baseball. Well, he probably sleeps with his bat and glove ready to get in at midnight.

The fun begins when workmen putting finishing touches on The House find a corpse stuck into the wall behind a concession stand on opening day.  Mum’s the word! With President Harding in the stands no one wants to spoil the party with this sordid detail, moreover, the owner does not want the brand new stadium cursed with this cadaver, so he asks/directs Utility Man (whose few baseball duties give him plenty of time off) to find out what happened on the QT. Why him? Because the victim was a onetime teammate on his journey through the majors. This is New York City 1923 and the police couldn’t care less if there is no cut for them.

What follows is a lot of baseball, though none of it bears on the krimi plot, and some digging by Utility Man to backtrack the victim. In addition to the baseball asides, there is a diversion into the film world of D. W. Griffith that tails away into nothing.  Likewise, the rookie Utility befriended in the early pages disappears.  Despite assurances that he would be rewarded for his efforts, there is no justice and after Utility Man figures it all out, he is cut to make way for a strapping rookie name of Gehrig. 

Tony Soos

On the brighter side, the baseball is palpable, the characters are clearly distinguished, the human side of Circus Ruth is revealed, and the plot, albeit only a third of the book, makes sense. The mix and match of historical and fictional characters is seamless. It is the seventh in a series that has many more titles. I read one years ago set in Wrigleyville (figure it out or go home), and liked it.  Still earlier I started one set in Green Monster Nation (ditto) but failed at a flood of clichés in chapter two. Still two for three is some average!  

Ruth in the early stages of his celebrity is well done.  He is already being eaten by expectations both on and off the diamond. He knows it but is powerless to resist the siren call.  

Silence, please.

Le dernier combat (1983)

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 1h 29m, rated 6.7 by 6643 cinematizens.


Genre: Post apocalypse.


DNA: France.


Verdict: A quiet version of Mad Max.


Tagline: Sshh.


Man roams around a destroyed world of office buildings, defiled apartments, crashed American cars, pursued by four or five other men. Nary a word is spoken, nor is there a tendentious narration so de rigour in Hollywood to explain and blame the situation on the audience. It just is.  


He flees on his Leonardo da Vinci homemade airplane to other, equally desolate parts.  


Meanwhile we meet the Doctor hold up in his clinic fending off a lone Barbarian at the gate.  Man and Doctor unite against Barbarian, but, well, he is a Barbarian and subdues them, but Man escapes.  


Yes, in a bow to Hollywood conventions there is a woman to fight over, in fact, two of them, but they have but five minutes of plot time. Most of the time director Luc Besson, before he surrendered to Hollywood, shows that a little can be a lot.  (A long way from Valerian where a lot is a little.)


It makes no sense but moves at brisk pace, and hangs together, almost.  Only two words are spoken. Correction, only one word is spoken but it is spoken twice. ‘Bonjour.’  


I watched this from my private collection via Plex in a hotel room in Canowindra (look it up).  

Da Boird!

The Hapsburg Falcon (2013) by J Trtek

Good Reads meta-data is 182 pages, rated 3.73 by 15 litizens.

Genre: Krimi; Species: Sherlock.

DNA: Brit.

Verdict: Elementary. 

Tagline: The stuff that nightmares are made of.

The Woman reappears, having twice outwitted the incomparable Sherlock Holmes, she turns to him for help in an hour of need: the one, the only Irene Adler.  

It seems an overweight, gregarious, duplicitous, and garrulous Man thinks she has what is his – dat boird – only she doesn’t.  It beggars belief but Irene is engaged to a young wastrel who schemed to get that bird, make a fortune, and whisk her away to parts known.  But both wastrel and bird have taken flight.  

Enter Holmes.  

J R Trtek

There is a coda that traces the characters in this tale, including Sam Spade, to 1940. That alone is worth the price of admission.  

But it lacks that early line in The Maltese Falcon that said it all: ‘We didn’t believe you; we believed your $50.’

The one and only Veeck.

The End of Baseball (2008) by Peter Schilling, Jr. 

Good Reads meta-data is 340 pages, rated 3.85 by 209 litizens.

Genre: Alt History.

DNA: Baseball.

Verdict: What a ride!

Tagline: If only.

In Hollywood where fiction is fact the publicity for this book would say ‘inspired by a true story,’ almost.  Bill Veeck, baseball fans need no explanation, lived and breathed baseball, and kept himself alive through 36 operations after losing a leg on Guadalcanal (1942) in the USMC dreaming of hit-and-run, sacrifice bunts, faked cut-offs, catcher pick-offs, and line-drive doubles.  An invalid, he returned to the States in 1944 to light up the world of baseball for the next forty years, wooden leg and all.

The premise of this novel is that Veeck acted on his oft stated ambition to break the colour bar in Major League Baseball, hatching a complicated plan to do so in a coup de theatre that would surprise and defeat the many opponents of this change.  The nub of the plan was that he, with his $500 payout from the Marines, would buy two baseball teams, one all-white and one all-black, and Hey Presto! Switch the one for the other on Opening Day!  Genius! So he thought, but well, what did the elder von Moltke say, no plan survives first contact with reality, and neither did this one.  

The man himself

FYI the two teams were the catastrophically broke Philadelphia Athletics in the American League and the unloved Philadelphia Stars of the Negro League.  This latter team was hardly better off financially than the A’s, but had many talented athletes.  Veeck assembled investors who had profited from some of his legerdemain before the war to funds the deals without knowing his master plan, and off he goes in this roller coaster ride of one imaginary season.  

The cast of characters ranges from Satchel Paige (whose autograph I once had), Buck Leonard, Roy Campanella, J Edgar Hoover, Eleanor Roosevelt, Judge Landis, and a great many more. What a kaleidoscope of the times and places of 1944.  

Peter Schlling, Jr

Post Script. By the way Veeck did break the colour bar in the American League when he ran the Cleveland Indians by signing and playing Larry Dobey.

Precipice

Precipice (2024) by Robert Harris.  

Good Reads meta-data is 464 pages rated 4.21 by 1107 litizens. 

Genre: Historical fiction. 

DNA: Edwardian England.

Verdict: Not for me.

Tagline: …. (Meh.)

The book is very well written, well researched in keeping with Harris’s other historical fictions, but….  Yes, there is a ‘but’ because, well, the story is depressing and boring.  British Prime Minister Herbert Henry Asquith (1852-1928) went sleepwalking into the Great War, daydreaming about his mistress in cabinet meetings, only occasionally noticing what went on, and even more remarkable, throwing secret state papers into the street for the German sympathisers and agents who followed him around to collect, so preoccupied was he with his lady love; this sixty year old man in a teenage hormone haze barely knew what he was doing. When confronted with this fact of the state papers, first he denied it, then, then excused it, and then…continued it.  

PM Asquith

All in all, he must be a candidate for the Donald Trump Prize for the most vacuous head of government.  Yet he was PM for nearly a decade and Liberal Party leader longer.  Asquith’s entitlement mentality and monumental incompetence is so tedious that I started flicking pages, and pages.  

The woman was far more responsible than he was on this telling. She secreted his nine letters a day, tried to stop his littering with state papers, and finally broke with him to go to France to drive an ambulance. His reaction to the latter was to feel sorry for himself rather than snap out of his stupor. 

Bring on Lloyd George!

Grey (sometimes ‘Gray’ in the Kindle text), Kitchener, and Churchill were the only ones in these pages who realised from the off that there would be a long and terrible war. Grey tried to prevent it, while Churchill savoured the thought but was realistic about what had to be done, and Kitchener feared it. None of them got any help from Asquith who drifted.  

By the way, Harris claims both in a forward and an afterward that all of this is true.  I believe him.  

Soup’s on!

Tampopo (1985)

IMDb meta-data is runtime of 1h and 54m, rated 7.9 by 23,001 cinematizens.  

Genre: Parody.

DNA: Japan.

Verdict: More! 

Tagline:  A Noodle Eastern.

A square-jawed stranger rides into town and when he enters the saloon the crowd of idlers goes quiet. So opens the Spaghetti Western. 

Well, sorta. The stranger is driving a tanker truck, and the saloon is a ramen bar on the outskirts of Tokyo.  In what follows are fist fights, espionage, Rocky training, and more as the stranger searches for the perfect ramen through an encyclopaedia of oater movie tropes.  A team is assembled and the quest proceeds.  

***

The momentum is hampered by interludes about love and food, some of which are odd and others incomprehensible, including a very tedious start.  None add to the main theme. Cutting them would reduce the film by 30+ minutes. But the red line (as they used to say in Moscow) is clear and it rattles along.  

I saw this long ago at Sydney Film Festival on its first release. 

Another poor little rich boy.

Blue Desert (2013) Deserto Azul 

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 1h and 34m, rated 7.4 (!) by 52 cinematizens.  

DNA: Brazil.

Genre: Boring.

Verdict: Nothing comes from nothing.  

Tagline: Is this all there is?

A movie about the purpose of life and the meaning of human existence, modestly declaimed the writer and the director.  

With that pretension stated, what follows is an indulgent account of the angst of an adolescent posturing this way and that. In case it was all too deep for the viewer some scenes are repeated two or three times, and there is a narrative to guide the dull wits like me.  

He is a poor little rich boy who seems to have no responsibilities or ambitions.  He meets or perhaps dreams of a man even more useless than he is, painting the Atacama Desert blue.

It takes place in the Jetsons’ Brasilia, and is gorgeously photographed, preferable to turn the sound down and the subtitles off and watch the moving pictures.  

Go girl! Go!

Malice in Wonderland (2009)

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 1h and 27m, rated 5.8 by 3,400 cinematizens.

Genre: Fantasy; Species: Alice.

DNA: Geordie.

Verdict: It’s all about time.  

Tagline:  Go girl! 

Late at night the amnesiac Alice hitches a ride in Whitey’s (who is late, late) black London cab and nothing is quite the same again.  In a series of skits she and he meet contemporary updates of the Mad Hatter, Tweedlee and (very) -dum(b), Caterpillarman, Dormouse, The Cheshire Cat, The Walrus, and, of course, the Red Queen.  A few genders are bent along the way.

Alice moves things along by ingesting every illegal substance these creatures purvey in the struggle to regain her memory. She is the missing daughter of zillionaire Lewis Dodgson who offers a colossal reward for her return, and that lucre sets off even more scoundrels in pursuit to relieve Whitey of this fare.  

Fun follows. Lots of it. 

***

It makes no sense but it is a mile-a-minute with some engaging players like the Gardening Girl in the looking glass. Alice ends where she began and there is a charming resolution.

It seems there is species of Alice films.  All manner of them from Disney to anti-Disney from the silent era to today in many languages.  One review lists 33 without any claim to being comprehensive.  By the way, this title has also had many iterations.

Star Wreck!

Star Wreck in the Pirkinning (2005) 

IMDB meta-data is a runtime of 1h and 43m, rated 6.5 by 6,000 cinemtizens.  

DNA: Finland.

Genre: Sy Fy.

Verdict: A parody with laughs.

Tagline: ‘Deploy Windows 95!’  

Travelling by accident from the far future back to the 21st Century Earth, no one believes Captain when says he is from the distant future.  He’ll show them!  He sets about conquering Earth so he can save it from destruction.  Yes, he is a megalomaniac.  

When the going gets tough, the tough use the ultimate weapon: Windows 95!  It will destroy anything! 

***

This is a fan mash up of Star Trek, and it worked well enough to keep me watching.  There are others segments of different lengths. Click on.

No questions.

Any Questions for Ben (2012)

IMDb meta-data is a runtime of 1hr and 54m, rated 5.6 by 1,800 cinematizens.  

DNA: Strine.

Genre: Neither Rom nor Com.

Verdict: Oh hum. 

Tagline: Is that all there was?

The tale of a poor little rich boy who has everything (money, cars, women, booze – who could ask for more?) and, yet, wants more.  

The best scene comes with the end-credits when our now reformed hero is leaving the country.  If you can endure the preceding drivel, stay tuned long enough to the see that.  

***

Overall it views like a Melbourne Tourist Board production of bright and beautiful young people basking in the hedonistic sun and fun (alcohol and sex) day in and night out in bleak city.  

It is accompanied by a deafening soundtrack that combines demolition work with peak hour traffic. 

In all it was about 1h and 54m too long.