Jackson in a hat!

A theorist and nothing but.

It is clear by now that my love for theory knows no limits. Consider then this picture. There is a long and fascinating story about how I came to have this hard hat thus labeled. And you, lucky reader, are about to learn it.

First to deal with the mundane. The hard hat started life as a fire warden’s hat from my glory daysas the level two fire warden for the Merewether Building. I got this job because I was often to be found there since that is where my office was for twenty years. Yes other people had offices there too but for some reason they could not find ther offices as often as I found mine. So when a fire warden was needed the distributor of hats found me to be in my office, and the others not. What luck!
I went to training sessions to learn where the doors were. I knew that already because I could fin my office without the trouble that seemed to effect others. So I went to the head of the class in no time flat. There was talk of me becoming the building warden, wearing the fire engine red hat that goes with it…. But I digress.
It was then just a plain green hat. Then it became the theorist hat! How, I hear you ask? Be patient, I say.
It was the early to mid 1990s when we started teaching summer school. After the first year of sweating it out air-conditioning was installed in the teaching rooms on the Merewether portico and also on level one below them, as these were the prime teaching rooms for summer school. We got that right. A rare thing. Steve was still the dean so every penny was pinched a great many times before it was kissed goodbye. A Scotsman in disguise he was.
The focus of the story now narrows to Merewether Lecture Room 6. I have favored this room for years because it is small. The building specifications (which I have indeed examined such is my thoroughness) says it seats fifty-five. It is listed at that on the room booking system, but don’t try it. In reality about forty-five students (back packs, water bottles, tennis rackets, I Pods, and like) fill it up.
I prefer it because with a theory class of about that size I can see each person easily and walk around among them when we are talking.
Despite being a small room it had a riser and a built in lectern. A ridiculous vanity and a dangerous one, as more than once while I was on the riser writing on the board and turned to step to the class I had to step down first. Another thing we got right was ripping out that riser that took up space and could conceivably been of use only to a midget (and midgets should be required to bring their own ladders).
The air-conditioning was installed (and a year or so later it worked; we did not get that right). A false ceiling was built into Merewether Lecture Room 6 (which by the way is not next to Merewether Lecture Room 5 which is upstairs, but it is next to Merewether Tutorial Room 6 – figure that out) for the air conditioning unit. When this was happening the drop down screen for OHPs and film was removed. I made do with a portable screen for a time which I picked up from the attendants on the way to class. So much fun that. Finally, after many protestations from me and perhaps others, the screen was re-hung. Pause there and think of some of the way Conan the Builder could get that wrong.
Time’s up! It was hung in such a way that when it was lowered it blocked the entry door. Since I often like to get to class before most students and put an uplifting transparency on the OHP to greet them when they arrive. Say something from Dilbert that fits how the University runs itself, this was a nuisance of the first order.
More protestations followed. We are now entering the second semester. But Conan sent some of the dimmer members of his clan to re-hang the screen. Pause. Keep think about how this could be got wrong.
Get it? I doubt it. Here’s another piece of important information. The screen is housed in a woodened frame and weights a ton. I know. Still thinking? Get with it!
Conan’s dimmer cousins re-hung it to allow the door to open by screwing it into gyprock. I forget what that it called Stateside – plasterboard, maybe – but it can bear no weight. I know. ( I expect Conan originally placed across the door because that is where the screws hit a cross beam.)
How do I know. Well one day in a Political Theory class I lowered the screen and did what ever I did, and then proceeded to jerk on the screen to get it to retract so I could use the board. I bent toward the screen to grab the bottom (you’ve figured it out now haven’t you, you clever boots) and tug it and turned back to the class to see Owen (sitting in the front row a few steps from me), his eyes popping out of his head and I was still partly stooped and straightening up, and his reaction, I think, caused me to lean more toward him. Thanks, Owen.
Because the screen and the wooden housing came swinging down and one end struck me on the shoulder. If I had straightened up rather than learning toward good old Owen (who went straight to the head of the class this time) it might have clonked on the head. I doubt if it would have knocked any sense into me but it might have knocked some out.
I know the unionists will be disappointed to know I soldiered on, and did not complain, sue, or generally go off the deep end. I did report it. I have a lot of experience at that. But boy my shoulder did hurt. A perfect excuse for a G and T before dinner.
The next class I came with the theorist hat!
Which you see here doing double duty as the hat to wear when sitting under the laden mango tree. Between now and Easter we will be eating our very own Newtown mangoes.

Don’t worry, I am not sad, just preoccupied with memories of the hat!
There is, as often is the case, more. Conan also ran the copper air conditioning pipe on the floor from the front of the room down the side to the outside wall. Yes the pipe was there on the floor, and it passed in front of the legally required second exit door stopping it from opening. It remained there for years putting us in violation of the fire code every year. It was finally removed when the whole building was air conditioned. And by the way all the screens were replaced with light slim line ones that are fitted to the wall and not the ceiling. (We made a lot of money out of summer school in time).
But just imagine the contracting process that gets us this kind of building work. You can be sure that the university lets the contract, though the Faculty pays. It is normal that the University will not employ and will not let the Faculty employ a project manager to work with the builder, regarding this precaution as a waste of money. The constant need to re-fit things that go wrong do not figure in this equation. Much of reality does not enter into chancellery equations.