‘Cave Women on Mars’ (2008)

IMDb metadata is 1 hour and 13 minutes, 5.8 from 77 cast members’ relatives.
Verdict: Spelunkers will be disappointed, as will Martians.
In the far distant future of 1987 humanity has achieved space flight and the first Mars lander is en route with a two-dork crew.
Cave Women cover.jpg
They land on uninhabited Mars to find….inhabitants. But does that matter? A little terra nullius and hey presto, no problem.
Because of the low budget, they find an Earth atmosphere and trudge around in coveralls. One of them wanders off and is…
There are women. ‘These two losers had to go to Mars to get a date,’ hooted the fraternity brothers!
One of them encounters two warring tribes of women, each of which tries to kill him, or enslave him, or otherwise have their wicked ways with him. But no, they decide he is too dangerous to live and if he dies there is no movie. What a conundrum!
Males are weak, cowardly, and enslaved by women. Realistic anyway. ‘She’ (1935) Who Must be Obeyed took refuge on Mars, it seems. (‘She’ has been re-made many times but the first is far and away the best.)
Those coveralls drive the Martian caveless women wild! The kiss is unknown to these women and …. [censored]. Knowledge!
It is filmed in black-and-white and offers a tribute to 1950s B Sy Fy movies. It is modest and the actors say all their lines slowly and clearly (because there was no budget for re-takes). In most scenes there is one camera set up and the actors do not move once the focus has been pulled.
Even so it is mildly diverting, but has nothing to do with Mars or with caves. It is a trope in 1950s Sy Fy that there are worlds of women without (real — Republicans don’t count) men, e.g., ‘Cat-Women of The Moon’ (1953), ‘Fire Maidens from Outer Space’ (1956), ‘World Without End’ (1956, or ‘Queen Of Outer Space’ (1958) to name but the a few of the fraternity brothers’ favourites.