Geekerella (2017) by Ashley Poston

GoodReads meta-data is 320 pages, rated 4.00 by 37,381 litizens.

Genre: Chick Lit.

Verdict: Ignite!

Introverted, harassed, unloved, acned, beset teenage girl dreams of the stars while her wicked stepmother and cruel step sisters torment her in a tag team.  If and when she finally snaps they will get the inheritance from the deceased father and be rid of her once and for all to live unhappily ever after.  (It’s pretty clear these people do not have the happiness gene.)

The evil step mother is certainly decanal material.  No argument, no loyalty, no evidence, no reason, no services rendered, no compassion sways her from the KPI of seeing off Introv. That way lies promotion.  Sending Introv up on the roof in a thunderstorm to fix a leak is all in a day’s meanness for her.  Nothing special.  Overdrawn just a tad, one might say.  On the other hand, speaking of deans….[some stories are not fit to print].

Introv works in a food truck with Stud Girl, a reference to the many piercings the latter sports.  They communicate in grunts.  Don’t underestimate this Newtown wannabe.   

Long ago and far away Introv had parents who loved her and took her (metaphorically) to the stars, as founding fans of StarField, a brief television series that subsequently won a following in syndication.The odes to the dead parents and the stars are humbling, moving, and spectacular to read.  If this is Chick Lit, let there be more of it.  

Meanwhile, in another world the StarField franchise is getting a re-boot these years later with a teenage Jason Bieber in the lead.*  Yuck! Nothing could be more wrong which Introv boldly declares on her blog which gets taken up far and wide simply because by some quirk of time zones she was the first to voice this opinion.    

We learn that despite appearances and expectations, this teen idol has a soul, one that yearns to be free of being Jason Bieber 24/7.  The iron cage of celebrity is very nicely realised in these pages. Though again perhaps a tiny bit overdrawn just for fun.  Still I liked the ever distracted manager and monosyllabic bodyguard.  Likewise the co-star who tells the boy wonder that if he doesn’t stand up for himself now, he never will.  

He wants out so bad he calls an old number he found for help to wiggle out of a commitment without a confrontation, which old number once belonged to Introv’s deceased dad, and so he makes unintended contact with her.  Through this mischance they communicate, and find that they can communicate more, and more easily with texts to a stranger than with anyone around them.  He is surrounded by cannibalistic fans and hangers-on; she by the equally ravenous evil step family.  

We just know that somehow these two worlds are going to meet, perhaps with a jolt, and that only these two can save each other.  

Along the way they learn (as do some others) that they are not alone.  Introv also learns that she does have friends and does not have to push the rock up the hill everyday alone.  Bieber learns to act like the hero he plays in film, just a little bit, and discovers he likes it and it works.  

Did I mention the food truck that specialised in pumpkin fries with a giant pumpkin painted on the side.  Did I mention that?  Shoulda. Did I mention Stud Girl’s cry at the gate: ‘Today we fight!’  Shoulda.  

Loved it.  

First is a series of Geek Girl books.  

*No it is not really Justin Bieber but I wanted name from the popular culture and so little do I know that I took this one to represent the ephemera, vacuity, and fatuousness thereof.  While I am sure many others fill that bill, Jason is a good fit.