The Mysterians (1957) Chikyû Bôeigun
IMDb meta-data is run time of 1 hour and 25 minutes, rated 6.1 by 1,800 cinematizens.
Genre: Sy Fy.
DNA: Japan.
Verdict: Respect their cultural ways.
Tagline: Asylum seekers unite.
Relaxing after the rigours of World War II, a lot of Japanese actors are disporting when…! Yep, the aliens strike first, kind of like the Japanese in World War II, not to mention Port Arthur earlier. No sooner do they set an alien foot on Japan than their mechanical mole burrows through the earth to cause earthquakes. (Yes, I know scientists will object to this but let ‘em!) Above ground this mole follows the maxim of Japanese General Yasuji Okamura in China: ‘Kill all! Burn all! Destroy all!’
Turns out that was just an opening gambit like the Bird Opening in Chess. Bam, game on! After showing what they can do the Mysterians politely introduce themselves. They are asylum seekers avant le mot.
Yes, you guessed it the Mysterians under those biker helmets and inside those colour-coded capes are from Mysterious, a planet that was between Jupiter and Mars. (There go those scientists again!) They trashed the place and had to leave, so they need a place to stay, one square kilometre will do, says the dubber. Ah, and one other thing, in the haste of departure it seems they left the women behind to clean the place up, and they now they need more so they ask for access to Japanese women. Once again the aliens are after our women! (Cf. Blood Beast from Outer Space [1965], Mars Needs Women [1968], and Lobster Man from Mars [1989].)
They ask but even as they ask some Mysterians have already lined up dates. Sort of, but it is more like abductions, but maybe that is their cultural ways which we must respect. Several women are clonked, gassed, and otherwise rendered insensible and whisked away to hovering light blobs in the sky.
Well, the aliens did ask, but then they didn’t wait for the answer just did it. Speaking of cultural ways, at no time do either the Mysterians or the Japanese negotiators ask women about their reaction to this request.
Game on! None of the war surplus gear the Japanese have does any damage to the dome under which the Mysterians watch the fireworks. The United Nations supplies some heavy duty mumbo-jumbo that makes the Mysterians stop laughing; even so, it is not enough. Uncle Sam comes to the party by lending the Japanese, as if in 1957, some r-e-a-l-l-y big rockets which the Japanese pilot. Meanwhile, a scientist, son of Tokyo Rose, who earlier went over the Mysterians has a change of heart and sabotages the dome from within while the really big rockets hammer it from without. This double bammy does the trick. Cracks appear in the indestructible dome.
Ka-boom! Colour-code capes and all, the Mysterians scoot.
End, followed by heartfelt high school valedictorian speeches about cooperation and world peace.
There are things to like about it. The models are well done and the action sequences are good, for the time. The plot has enough twists and turns to keep attention, but way too much of the run time is ka-boom, and more ka-boom. Moreover, you’d need a short memory in 1957 to be lectured on world peace by these people after the decade 1937-1945.
Oh, I did see a resemblance between the mechanical mole and the aliens at the start of the Fifth Element (1997), but this 1957 film takes itself far more seriously than that more recent one.
I watched a poor quality specimen which had been cut down for television, so maybe in its cinema version there is more dramatic sense than I got. I’ll never know, but you might. Decide for yourself. No need to inform me.